A Cat’s View of COVID-19

In 2011, I published Letters to Jennifer from Maudie & Oliver, a wonderful book of humorous letters for children and adult readers. It was written by Winnipeg author Sharon Gray, aka LIP (Live-In Person), from the point of view of her two precocious Siamese cats Maudie, the prima donna, and her brother Oliver, who doesn't get enough love because he lives with the prima donna.

Letters to Jennifer from Maudie & Oliver by Sharon Gray,
published by DriverWorks Ink

The cats share their day-to-day adventures, however maudlin or amusing, with their dear Auntie Jennifer – to lift her spirits while she battles cancer. Whether they are watching friends in the garden, jostling for space on their favourite wingback chair, or vying for the attention of humans, the compassion and silliness of Maudie and Oliver make for some terrific, light reading. And we all need more of that in our lives.

The book is no longer in print, but author Sharon Gray is still writing. She recently wrote a new letter from the cats to a friend who has survived two years of breast cancer treatments which, thankfully, led to remission but caused some serious, painful side effects. Sharon graciously allowed me to share her letter with you. She hopes it will lift everyone's spirits as we all go through COVID-19 together.  

Keeping My Chin Up After My Husband's Death

It's been five months and 10 days since my husband, soulmate and business partner Al Driver died of colon cancer. Stupid cancer! I'm so tired of even thinking about it. So I try not to.

I try to get through the days doing some work for our book publishing company, spending time with family and friends, moving stuff around inside my house, and tending to my flower garden and small, new vegetable garden. I am thankful that it is summertime and I can go outside and take short or long walks or bike rides. I can sit in the backyard and ponder or look at the sky at night and talk to the stars.

A couple of weeks ago, I went for lunch with my dear friend Nadine - my girlfriend soulmate. After lunch, we went to a wonderful local garden centre and perused the aisles before buying a few plants for our gardens. At one point, Nadine pointed out this bench:

I started to cry. Heavily.

I turned away from the bench and my attention was drawn to a wall FULL of signs and sayings.

But I only saw this one:

I burst out laughing. I recognized my husband's wacky sense of humour jumping out at me from the many quaint, tender, and funny sayings on that wall. "Come on, Deana. You can do it!"

Thanks, Hon. I needed that.

Yes, I need to keep my chin up. The days will get better, the evenings will eventually be not as long and lonely, and life will return to a comfortable new normal some day.

Our daughter Lisa Driver, who is a gifted spiritual healer and author, sent me a link to the website of another author and blogger who writes about Second Firsts. I have been encouraged and inspired by Christina Rasmussen's blogs, her social media posts, and her changed attitude toward life after loss. I highly recommend her to anyone who has lost someone dear to them.

As I sit alone in my home-based office, I think of others who have come through this and I know I will do so too.

I will get through this with the help of people like you and my friend Nadine.

Thank you for your continued caring of me and our family.

I will enjoy the rosebushes that I purchased in memory of Al.

And I will keep my sense of humour and my love of life.

I will remember all the good times - and some of the tough times - that I had with my husband during our 42 years together. And I will continue to tell his story for the rest of my life so that no one around me forgets him.

And I will hold onto my faith and know that life will again be good.

Chin up, Buttercup!

Publishing Books in a “Widow” Way

“Marital Status:  WIDOW.” Just writing that word on a Canada Passport form startled me. It’s not that I don’t know that I’m a widow. My husband (and publishing business partner) Al Driver passed away on January 4^th after a four-month struggle with colon cancer (see blog post). So I know I am a widow. I just haven’t used the word very much yet.

And I’ve always found “widow” to be one of the saddest words in the English language.

“Widow” means that the person using it has lost someone very dear to them. Someone they most likely loved deeply. Someone who shared a large part of their everyday life – otherwise they would be writing “single”, “separated” or “divorced” on that form – although I imagine each of those words conjures up a whole set of emotions in the writer too.

What “widow” reminded me of was the 42 years I spent with this man – the love of my life. And how much I miss him and the times we shared.

Al and I met in college, taking journalism courses in Alberta. We have been together since I was 17 and he was 18.

In December, a couple of days after we found out that Al’s tumour was inoperable, I told him that what he said to me in November was right – we have had a wonderful run together. They have been great years – except for the times when he was a pain in the ass, I told him.

Al laughed and replied, “So what does that total then? Two good years?”

I laughed and said, “No. Forty. Counting the times I was a pain in the ass too.”

It was uncharacteristic of me to say “ass” because I don’t like that word, but you say words you detest when someone you love is dying. You freakin’ hate what is happening at that point and saying words that are harsher than your normal language somehow helps.

So here I am – a new widow. Trying to figure out a new, changed, daily life without the person I loved most in this world.

Filling out a form so I can travel is a good step. It means there is life after death – for my wounded soul.

It means I still have purpose on this earth. Being invited to go to Chicago to Book Expo America for my publishing company is part of that purpose.

One step at a time, one day at a time, sometimes one moment at a time ... I’ll figure out this “widow” thing.

Maybe I’ll think of my now-adult children and my three little grandsons the next time I hear or have to write that word and I’ll remember how they used to pronounce the word “little” when they were young.

And I’ll think of myself as a “widow” publisher on the Prairies.

I would have smiled, but it's the passport office!
Smiling is not allowed here. Looking less than glum
is the best I could do in my out-of-focus selfie. Ha ha!

P.S. If you live in Canada, note that your passport may not be valid for international travel if it expires within six months of your travel date. The Canada Passport website says, "Your passport may have to be valid for up to six months after the date you enter the country you will be visiting. " Check details under the "Travel Advice and Passport Validity" section on this page. My sister told me of this change in rules for travel to the U.S. The Passport official told me about a man who arrived at their office with his plane ticket in hand after being turned away at the airport. So check your passport expiry date well before you plan a trip out of the country!

Kids love the SuperMom and the Big Baby book

"Hi, guys! How are you?" asks author Dave Driver of the Grades 1 to 4 students at Elsie Mironuck School in Regina, Saskatchewan.

'Fine,' mumble a few students.

"Good," a few others reply.

"Oh, you can do better than that," says Dave. "Let's try that again. Hi, guys. How are you?"

"GOOD!" yells the room full of students.

"Shhhhhh. This is a library!" whispers Dave with a smile on his face.

The students giggle.

And their time with the author begins.


Dave tells them that his wife Kelli talks in her sleep and that he wrote down some of the silly phrases she said.

After he had collected a lot of odd sayings, he used his imagination and created a funny story about his family, including his wife and their two sons.

The story has a beginning, a problem or conflict, and an ending in which the hero solves the problem, he tells the students. They sit quietly as he begins to read his book.

"Once upon a time, there was a normal family of a mom, a dad and two children...

"Mom and Dad called to Easton, but Easton thought it was a game and ran away down the street... 

Everyone on the street was scared...

Mom and Dad had to think fast. 

What would they do?"

 

The students listened to the rest of the story, smiling and giggling, and laughing in spots. 

At the end of the reading, they asked Dave about his book and whether he would write a sequel. 

(Yes - children in Grade 4 know the meaning of the word 'sequel'.)

"Well, my wife still talks in her sleep," Dave replied. "Do you have any suggestions for what the next book should be called?"

"SuperDad and the Middle Child," suggested one boy.

"Are you the middle child in your family?" Dave asked.

Nod.

"SuperMom and the Missing Tooth," said another listener.

"Interesting," said Dave.

"SuperBaby."

"Just SuperBaby? By himself?"

"Yes."

"SuperMom and the Big Rat."

"Whoa! That would be scary. A big rat running down the street. Everyone would be scared!"

Smiles from the creative child.

"SuperMom and the Mermaid," offered another student.

"Hmmm... I'm not sure how SuperMom would meet a mermaid, but thank you for your suggestions," said Dave.

As the students began filing back to their classrooms, one young boy asked Dave if he could look through the book. 

"They liked it," said one of the teachers. "You could tell."

One quiet young boy asked to look at the book, then began leafing through the pages.

Then another couple youngsters asked to look through the book. 

We all left the reading with smiles on our faces.