Sad news - Passing of 9-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner

Beautiful, extraordinary, fun-loving, nine-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner passed away on Monday, February 1, 2021. She was 55. Her husband, Graham, shared this eloquent obituary. It will come as no surprise to anyone who knew Dionne that she co-wrote her obituary with Graham, and she also made decisions about what her last day on Earth would look like.

Dionne Warner was a remarkable woman. Strong. Courageous. Inspiring.

Since her first cancer diagnosis in 1995, Dionne chose to be upbeat, positive, and grateful for every moment of every day. Through eight more diagnoses over the next 25 years, Dionne shared her hope, laughter, courage, and strength with thousands of people in Canada and around the world. With every new diagnosis, she gave herself 24 hours to say, "Why me?" and then she focused on "Why not me? And what am I going to do about it?"

Dionne Warner went into her first chemotherapy treatment
for her Stage IV cancers dressed up and ready to fight, Dec. 17, 2009

I am honoured to have written and published part of her story - up to her seventh cancer diagnosis - in Never Leave Your Wingman - Dionne and Graham Warner's Story of Hope. This book is a book of hope, courage, laughter, and love. It will live on for generations, and I am very proud to have put it out into the world for all to enjoy.

Author Deana J. Driver with Dionne and Graham Warner at one of Dionne's chemo treatments, July 2010

Author Deana J. Driver with Dionne and Graham Warner at the book launch
for Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner's Story of Hope, June 16, 2011

Dionne and Graham Warner dance into one of Dionne's chemo treatments, July 2011

I will always cherish the many hours of sitting with Dionne at book signings and laughing and laughing - with each other and with folks who stopped to buy the book or just visit with us. Weird for a cancer story, I know, but that was Dionne's story and that's how we approached this adventure. Those 24 hours of feeling sorry for herself had long passed.

Dionne Warner and author Deana J. Driver at a
Never Leave Your Wingman book signing, Feb. 7, 2013

Dionne Warner and author Deana J. Driver at a book signing, "Movember" 2016

Dionne's story has helped many people during their cancer battles. This includes my family as we lost my mother and then my husband to cancer. I shared Dionne's story with my mom while I was finishing writing the book in 2011, and Al quickly decided he would "fight like Dionne" when he was diagnosed in 2015. Many of us gained strength and courage from Dionne's story. Knowing her story took away some of the fear and brought us more peace on that path. I will forever be grateful to Dionne for showing us the way.

We all need hope. We all need love. We all need courage. We all need laughter. This was Dionne Warner to the core.

There is a moving poem about what cancer cannot do. It was read at my husband's memorial service and it applies again and again. Paraphrasing the pieces of one version that speaks to me today: "Cancer cannot cripple love... shatter hope... kill friendship... shut out memories... silence courage."

Cancer can never take away Dionne Warner's "Live your life to the fullest - No regrets!" mantra or the exuberant "Woo Hoo!' that marked her entrances and celebrations. It will never diminish the good work she did in raising funds for cancer research or in raising the spirits of thousands of cancer patients and their families. Many will remember that forever.

I extend my deepest condolences to Dionne's wingman, Graham, and their family and friends. Dionne was much loved and will be sorely missed.

Fly high and free, Angel D. Thank you for the light you shone in our lives. We will never forget you. We will continue to carry that light for you.

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Buy the Never Leave Your Wingman book from DriverWorks Ink

Buy the e-book: Kobo, Amazon Kindle

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An article in the Regina Leader-Post on Dionne Warner's passing
An article by CBC Saskatchewan on Dionne Warner's passing

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A Funny Thing Happened at a Craft Show

I miss craft shows. Actually, I miss seeing real people with their faces visible, but that's another story.

I miss the busy craft show atmosphere of talking with all variety of folks and selling books to interested readers. Craft and trade shows on the Prairies have been part of my life every fall since 2009 when I published The Little Coat: The Bob and Sue Elliott Story by Alan J. Buick. That fall, the author and I and our spouses (Carol and Al) went on an epic author tour through parts of Saskatchewan and Alberta to launch this wonderful book about a Canadian soldier from Olds/Calgary and a Dutch girl who received his troop's wartime gift of a child's coat made from a Canadian Army blanket. 

The Little Coat is still one of our most popular titles - for good reason, including the fact that the coat is now an artifact in the Canadian War Museum thanks to Alan's writing efforts - and it launched us into the world of selling our books at trade shows and craft shows as well. We had a trade show booth at big events like Canadian Western Agribition for many years and we took our books on the road to various craft shows in all regions of Saskatchewan as well as southern Manitoba and Alberta. Fun stuff for sure.

But people do say the darnedest things sometimes.

One of the funniest - or maybe strangest - moments that happened came during a show in a Saskatchewan town in November 2012. The craft show was held in a large gymnasium-like room and there was plenty of space for craft tables and for customers to wander among them. (Sigh. Did I mention that I miss people?) 

Anyway, I returned to the room after a short break and an older woman greeted me at the door. She called to her friend to follow her and they both walked behind me, following me for the entire length of the large room until I got to my table. They stopped in front of my table and waited until I sat down in my chair behind the table.

Then the woman picked up my Never Leave Your Wingman book - about fun-loving, inspiring, seven-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner and her wingman husband Graham - and held the bright pink book up for her friend to see.

"They say this is a really good book," the woman said to her friend.

Then she put the book down and they both walked away.

What... was... that? I wondered for a long, long time - when I wasn't laughing and shaking my head, that is.

She never did buy the book. Not that weekend anyway.

At another craft show - in a city this time - a woman came up to my booth and asked if she could buy "that big book." 

I was confused. All the books I publish are of a standard size - either 6 inches wide by 9 inches high or slightly smaller. I have published only a couple of books that are 8-1/2 inches by 11 inches, so I didn't understand what she was wanting. I asked her to repeat herself.

"I want to buy that big book. There!" she said as she pointed to the 12-inch by 18-inch poster of a book cover that was hanging on the booth wall behind me.

"Um... those are just posters of the book covers. The books are here," I said as gently as I could while I motioned to all the books covering the tables between us.

I don't remember if the woman ended up buying an "actual" book or not - I think she did - but I distinctly remember that she was not the only person who asked if they could buy one of the book posters. One other person inquired at a different trade show a few years later.

So maybe there's a market out there for oversized books. Hmmm...

As my publishing business grew and my display table of books by various authors expanded during the past 10 years, my routine of briefly introducing the books on my table became more complex. Sometimes the words that came out of my mouth were confusing for craft show visitors and for myself as well. (I'm better at writing than I am at talking.)  As I honed my publishing preferences to focus only on non-fiction books and other genres related to non-fiction, it became easier for me to describe the books on my craft show tables. At least that's what I thought was happening.

"Hello. These are all books I publish," I'd say. "They're all written by Saskatchewan and Prairie authors, including me. These ones are all true stories (as I pointed out the books), these are healing and wellness, these are children's fiction and non-fiction, and these are humour and cowboy poetry over here. They're all true stories or based on true stories."

It sounded simple enough to me but, then again, this is my business and I deal with these books daily, so it should sound understandable to the person who creates the books. Let me tell you, it definitely boggles the minds of some folks who wander up to my craft show tables. Usually, I can sort out their questions and help them understand whatever it is that they want to know about the awesome books written by awesome writers. (Shout out to my authors!)

But sometimes, nothing I say really matters.

I recall spending five or ten - or maybe it was a hundred - minutes one day talking to a man about the different books he appeared to be interested in on my craft show tables. He had asked about some of the storylines, whether this one was a Saskatchewan story or not, whether these people were still alive... and more. Then came the question that floored me.

"So, have you read any of them?" he asked.

Uh.... What?

"Yes," I replied, trying to keep him from seeing how astounded I was at his question. Hadn't I just told him about almost Every. Single. One. Of these books?

"I edited and published all of these books, so, yes, I've read every word in every one of them. Many times," I said.

The guy eventually walked away. I was glad to see him go. Sometimes you just can't help people.

The final memorable funny moment came when two young girls, about 10 years old, stopped at my booth one evening and began looking at the children's and young adult books. They picked up one kids' book and then another and began conversing with me.

And that's when my "I've read every word in every one of these books" line came back to haunt me.

One of the young smarty-pants girls picked up The Inquiring Reporter by Clay Stacey and randomly opened it up. "Okay, I'm on page 68. The word starts with a p and ends with r. What is it?" the youngster brazenly asked as she looked straight at me.

"Publisher," I replied, without hesitating.

The little girl's eyes opened wide as she looked at her friend in shock. "Wow! She really does know every word in the books!"

She quickly put the book down and they almost ran as they left my booth.

I smiled.

Yes, of course, I got lucky with "publisher", but it was a pretty easy guess. The book's author, Clay Stacey, was a publisher, editor, and reporter in all four Western provinces for 50 years - so "publisher" seemed like a reasonable option for a word that starts with p and ends with r - in a book about a publisher!

However, I am glad that she didn't look a little farther down the page and pick out the word starting with a u and ending with a y...

Unpredictability.

Students learn about Reconciliation from Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone book by Mary Harelkin Bishop

Saskatoon author and educator Mary Harelkin Bishop wrote Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone with the hope that it would give readers of all ages a better idea of the concept of reconciliation - a path of respectfulness between Indigenous and non-Indigenous people in Canada.

It has been gratifying to see the book receive awards at the Purple Dragonfly Book Awards and Hollywood Book Awards, but the greatest gifts have come when students and teachers send messages about what they learned from reading this book.

Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone tells the story of Danny, who lives on a family farm homesteaded by his great-great-grandparents, and Zach, a Cree boy who lives in the nearby town. When their Grade 6 teacher assigns a Canadian heritage project in which students must write about their family histories, Danny is paired with Zach, the only Indigenous boy in the class. At first, Danny and Zach can’t seem to get along. Then Danny finds out that his great-great-grandmother’s journal talks of breaking the land and building and living in a sod house. She also tells of how the First Nations people in the area helped her save her infant son’s life by using traditional medicines when he was very sick. The more Danny digs into his family’s history, the more he realizes that his and Zach’s pasts are complicated and connected.

A Grade 5/6 classroom in Saskatoon recently read Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone and used a Literature Circles learning format. In images sent via a PowerPoint slideshow, the teacher shared with us what the class learned from this important book:

Students learned about Reconciliation from Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone book

Some of the valuable lessons the students learned from Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone by Mary Harelkin Bishop are:

•        People can change.
•          You should give everyone a second chance.
•          Every child is different and has unique experiences.
•          Everyone’s culture, race, and religion is valuable.
•          Don’t judge someone based on their past.
•          Everyone makes mistakes.
•          We learned about marginalization and how it harmed Indigenous Peoples.
•          It is important to learn about the true history of Canada, which has not always happened in Canadian schools.
•          It is never too late to do the right thing.
•          Reconciliation is learning to heal, learn and move forward together.

-

Thank you to the teacher and Grade 5/6 class for sending us their work and responses to this book. 

Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone has been called “a must-read book for all youth” and a book that will help teachers become better teachers, kids become better friends, parents become better parents, and neighbours become better neighbours.

The author, Mary Harelkin Bishop, is a retired teacher who spent much of her career working in core neighbourhood schools. She has also been a teacher-librarian. Most recently, she was an educational consultant with Saskatoon Tribal Council, with a focus on helping students research and write the history of their families and reserves, and their hopes for the future.

Mistasiniy: Buffalo Rubbing Stone is available from www.driverworks.ca. 
(ISBN 978-1-927570-32-6, Juvenile fiction, Ages 10 and up)  
Schools and libraries should contact DriverWorks Ink directly for discounts on orders.

Submissions Call - True stories of Canadian Aviation and Funny Stories about Farm Life

Send in your true stories of adventures in Canadian aviation and your funny stories about life on a farm!

DriverWorks Ink wants to publish your stories in the third volumes of the Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation book series and the Fun On The Farm: True Tales of Farm Life book series.

Here are the details and deadlines:

Send your story submissions for Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation, Vol. 3

If you or someone you know has a great story of Canadian aviation to contribute to the next volume of Flight, please send your submission by email or mail. Submissions must be true short stories (no poems please) about events that occurred to Canadian pilots or other aviation personnel. We want true stories of danger, heroism, helping, joy, adventure, silliness, misfortune, etc.

Send your story submissions for Fun On The Farm 3

DriverWorks Ink is pleased to invite you to share more of your true short stories (or poems) about funny things that have happened on Prairie farms for volume 3 of the Fun On the Farm series. Tell us about events, interactions, people, or pranks that have happened to you or someone you know related to life on a Prairie farm. We want to make readers giggle, shake their heads in wonder, or downright belly-laugh when reading this book, just as they did with Volumes 1 and 2. Note that we've said "Prairie" farms since most of the stories have happened on the Prairies, but we will entertain stories that occurred on other farms in other Canadian provinces and territories.

Submission guidelines for the books:

• They must be true stories.
• Stories should be 750 to 2,500 words.
• Please provide details including your name, address, phone number, and email address, as well as the names, dates, location, and other details of the people and places in your story. Be sure to get permission to share the stories of others.
• All submissions will be accepted, but not all will be published.
• Photos may be submitted upon acceptance of your story.
• Those whose stories are published will receive two complimentary copies for each story published in that volume of the book and can purchase more copies at a 40% discount to sell at venues not already supplied by DriverWorks Ink.

Please send your submission ideas before Jan. 27, 2021 by email to: ddriver at sasktel.net or by mail to: DriverWorks Ink, 110 McCarthy Blvd. N., Regina, SK S4R 6A4. You don’t have to have the entire story written, but we do need to know what will be coming so we can plan our new releases.

Please contact Deana Driver of DriverWorks Ink if you have a story to share but you do not wish to write it yourself. She would be happy to consider writing the story to share it in that way. Thank you in advance.

The Good F-words

From my latest e-newsletter:

You know, there are some days – any day during a global pandemic, for example – when you just feel like muttering an “F-word” or two. Believe me, I’ve done it. And will likely do so again. And again.

But just for a change of pace, let me direct your attention to some “good F-words” –
Fun
Farm
Flight
Firefighting

Yes, these are the topics of new books I plan to publish in 2021. Okay, so the Fun and Farm words go together for one book and, yes, Flower, Feather, Fruit, Frosting, and French Fries are also good F-words, but you get my point.

Now let’s get back to today’s topic, shall we?

As mentioned in a previous e-newsletter, I wondered if any of you might have some interesting stories to share for successive volumes in the Fun On The Farm humour series and the Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation series of books previously published by my company, DriverWorks Ink. And I also inquired whether there is interest in a new book about the adventures of Volunteer Firefighters in Canada.

I’ve received enough positive feedback – and thank you to those who responded – to forge ahead and ask for submissions to these anthologies. Yep, I'm thinking positively and ignoring the huge constraints this global pandemic has placed on the business of creating and selling books. So please send me your short stories of Fun on the Farm, Flight, and Volunteer Firefighting as per the following guidelines.

Please write your story or invite someone you know to share their story/stories.

Fun On The Farm, Vol. 3: DriverWorks Ink is pleased to invite you to share more of your true short stories (or poems) about funny things that have happened on Prairie farms for Volume 3 of the Fun On the Farm series. Tell us about events, interactions, people, or pranks that have happened to you or someone you know related to life on a Prairie farm. We want to make readers giggle, shake their heads in wonder, or downright belly-laugh when reading this book, just as they did with Volumes 1 and 2. Note that I've said "Prairie" farms since most of the stories in the first two volumes happened on the Prairies, but I will entertain stories that occurred on other farms in other Canadian provinces and territories.

Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation, Vol. 3: If you or someone you know has a great story of Canadian aviation to contribute to the next volume of Flight, please send your submission by email or mail. Submissions must be true short stories (no poems please) about events that occurred to Canadian pilots or other aviation personnel. We want true stories of danger, heroism, helping, joy, adventure, silliness, misfortune, achievement, etc.

Fighting Fires Volunteer-style: Many smaller communities across Canada have a group of volunteers who are called on to help their community when a fire breaks out. Share your true stories of adventure, assistance, humour, struggle, success, and more. Confidentiality may be a concern in sharing these stories, but I will work with you - if your story is chosen for publication - to find a way to tell the story without divulging those identifying details.

Submission guidelines for all three books:

• They must be true stories.
• Stories should be 750 to 2,500 words.
• Please provide details including your name, address, phone number, and email address, as well as the names, dates, location, and other details of the people and places in your story. Be sure to get permission to share the stories of others.
• All submissions will be accepted, but not all will be published.
• Photos may be submitted upon acceptance of your story.
• Those whose stories are published will receive two complimentary copies for each story published in that volume of the book and can purchase more copies at a 40% discount to sell at venues not already supplied by DriverWorks Ink.

Please send your submission ideas before Dec. 31, 2020 to me at DriverWorks Ink. You don’t have to have your entire story or stories written, but I do need to know what will be coming in so I can plan for the new year.

Please contact me if you have a story to share but you do not wish to write it yourself. I will be happy to consider writing the story to share it in that way.

Thank you in advance. Happy "F-ing" writing!

Second book in the Flight series is taking off!

Alright, that's a corny title for a blog post about the newest book in this series of short stories about aviation, but what can I say? This Flight book series is such a fun project with lots of interesting anecdotes about some great people – and readers are loving it!

Let me introduce you to a few of the folks you’ll read about in Volume 2 of Flight...

Anglican Bishop of Saskatoon Rt. Rev. Rodney Andrews worked in both ministry and aviation for most of his career across Canada. His list of flying experiences includes working as a part-time instructor with the Lethbridge Flying Club while ministering with the Blood First Nations in southern Alberta, then working with Time Air and Air Canada. He then moved to Quebec for a few years, combining parish work with hospital chaplaincy east of Montreal. From 1988 to 1991, he was in Ottawa working as a part-time chaplain with HMCS Carleton Navy reserve while on a staff with three other clergy at a church in Nepean and working as a full-time Transport Canada inspector. Rod’s had many unique experiences worthy of reporting in a book such as this, including fun connections through his friends in Flying Farmers of Alberta.

Northern Saskatchewan pilot Doug Chisholm sent me this photo of himself (above right) with his pilot friend Harold Fast in February, while I was putting together the stories for Volume 2. It turns out that Doug and Harold both brought the same book with them to read on their January 2020 trip to Mexico – Volume 1 of Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation, by Deana J. Driver (that's me) and Contributors. How great is that? Doug told me that he and Harold left Saskatoon on a Wednesday and arrived in Loreto, Mexico on a Sunday in Harold’s Cessna 182RG, “a great cross-country aircraft. Quite a spectacular flight in many ways; we saw lots of interesting terrain. I certainly enjoyed your book, which I received from Will Chabun (a retired journalist who has also contributed to the Flight series) when I spoke at the Regina Chapter of the Canadian Aviation Historical Society,” Doug wrote. Doug has owned his Cessna 180 floatplane for 40 years and has recorded aerial photographs of 4,000 lakes and other geographic features that the province of Saskatchewan has named in memory of servicemen who lost their lives during the Second World War. On behalf of families, Doug has placed bronze memorial plaques on the shores of 300 Saskatchewan lakes honouring the servicemen for whom those sites were named, and he has spent thousands of hours uncovering more information and recording it for archival purposes. The story of Doug's memorial efforts is a must-read in Volume 2.

Speaking of the Canadian Aviation Historical Society, I met Gary M. Williams, who is the president of the Regina branch and also the Society's national president, when I spoke to the Regina group in December 2019. In Volume 2 of Flight, you'll read about how Gary travelled to Sweden in 2014 to meet the Swedish woman who saved his bomber-pilot father after his plane crashed in 1942 during the Second World War. I’m sure you’ll enjoy “Shot Down in Sweden” and “The Girl Who Saved My Father”.

Another one of the 14 stories I wrote for Volume 2 of Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation is about civilian pilot Gerd Wengler, who made a record-breaking flight from Canada’s southernmost point of Pelee Island, Ontario to its northernmost point at CFS Alert. “The year 2009 was the 100th anniversary of powered flight in Canada – Alexander Graham Bell flew the Silver Dart in Nova Scotia in February 1909,” said Gerd. “The Royal Canadian Air Force had all kinds of programs and special things happening in 2009 to celebrate 100 years of powered flight in Canada, so I found this general in Ottawa and I told him my idea as part of the Air Force celebration to fly across Canada from Pelee Island in Lake Erie to Alert. That interested him and I got permission two years later. The DND told us they had never given anyone a permit. That’s why I believe nobody else had done it. The only condition was that I was not allowed to tell anyone until after the flight.”

And then there are stories about Manitoba bush pilot Keith Olson, who dealt with falling aircraft parts, and aircraft mechanic Don Currie, who told of struggling to get French President Mitterrand’s Concorde off the ground in Regina in 1987. You’ll also read about Regina-born pilot Ralph Tweten, who had dozens of adventures while flying in northern Saskatchewan, southern Alberta, the Arctic, and Iran.

Then there are 23 more stories written by 12 other Canadian writers: Will Chabun, a retired newspaperman and aviation historian mentioned above (who wrote stories about newspaperman Foster Barnsley, aviation inspector Howard Ingram, and Air Canada passenger agents Brian Zawacki and Dave Scott); Peter Foster, an aviation enthusiast; Paul W. Greening, an aviation insurance investigator; Alvin Irlbeck, a retired farmer and pilot; Don Macpherson, a flying instructor and retired teacher; Malcolm McLeod, a balloon pilot and former journalist; Harry Meeds, a Saskatchewan pioneer of flight; Vincent Murphy-Dodds, a writer and humorist; Ron Sather, a former pilot; Ron Stansfield, an aviation enthusiast and retired Canadian diplomat; Walter D. Williams, an unofficial air ambulance pilot; and Bill Wunsch, a private pilot.

Volume 2 of Flight: Stories of Canadian Aviation shares loads of fascinating true stories of early flight schools, northern rescues, animal obstacles, hijackings, errant passengers, landings on unique landscapes, humorous military surprises, and more.

The two volumes of the Flight series are available from www.driverworks.ca, Saskatchewan Aviation Museum gift shop in Saskatoon SK, McNally Robinson Booksellers in Saskatoon SK, Penny University Bookstore in Regina SK, Audrey’s Books in Edmonton AB, Canadian Aviator Magazine, Chapters, Indigo, Coles, SaskBooks, Amazon, and as e-books.

Author finds hope in the Questions and Answers of kids

Ed Olfert is a master at sharing hopeful stories. He grew up in Kerrobert, Saskatchewan and found his bride, Holly, near there. They raised their family on their farm while Ed busied himself in a multitude of vocations including mining, working as a welder, driving trucks, doing mechanical work, serving as houseparent in a Christian high school, ministering a Mennonite church, and operating heavy equipment.

 In 2015, Ed came to DriverWorks Ink with a collection of hope-filled stories he had written for the Prince Albert Daily Herald. We were honoured to help him publish his inspirational columns, which reflect on his lifelong search for glimpses of God and glimpses of good in everyday life and the people around him. Rather than being preachy, Ed's stories are about family, neighbours, and friends, and include lives that we might not naturally connect to God, to awe and mystery.

 

In this time of pandemic, isolation and fear, we need to have hope. We proudly offer one of Ed Olfert’s short stories from his book And It Was Very Good – Everyday Moments of Awe.

This story by Ed Olfert is titled “Hard Questions and Answers”.

    "We are in a P.A. carwash when the call comes from our daughter-in-law. Holly’s hand waves suddenly in the window I have just begun to rinse. “We have to go now!”

    The rinse will have to wait.

    As we head out of town, Holly explains what she was able to understand from the frantic phone call. Our daughter-in-law, her two little boys and her sister, were on their way into town for soccer. On the Muskody Bridge, a motorist appeared to be having problems, and as our daughter-in-law got out to offer assistance, that person plunged over the edge. Our daughter-in-law was part of the attempted rescue effort. Now, she must stay to report in more detail to police. Can we pick up the boys?

    When we arrive, the bridge deck is crawling with emergency folks and vehicles. We find our family wedged between two police cars. Our daughter-in-law gets out when she sees us. Hugs are exchanged, tears are shed. Holly opens the back door. Six-year-old Jordan and three-year-old Josh look up at us. Holly asks if they want to come with us. Jordan, who is shaking uncontrollably, whose eyes are huge, simply nods. Josh announces, “I need to bring my toolkit!”

    Josh gets out, lugging his tools. He follows me around to the driver’s side of our truck. Holly scoops up Jordan, deposits him in the back seat, takes off her coat and covers him.

    The fifteen-minute ride to their house is mostly done in silence, except for Josh’s periodic wondering, “Will the firemen be able to find her?” Jordan’s eyes remain wide. I reach back, put my hand on his knee.

    At the boys’ home, Jordan climbs onto the couch. Holly finds a blanket to cover him. His eyes are dark, troubled, confused. Josh, meanwhile, has a need to play aggressively for a time. A dinosaur toy is produced; it is switched on, and as it wobbles noisily across the floor, Josh knocks it over, sets it up, knocks it over again. When he runs off to find another toy to crash, Holly picks up the dinosaur, which is still writhing noisily on the floor. She asks Jordan, “How do I turn this thing off?” A six-year-old’s smirk appears on his face, “You have to push the button on the poop!”

    The boys need to talk, not a lot, but need to talk about the bridge experience. Josh repeats several times, “I’m scared, I’m scared of what happened!” He is obviously struggling to find words to express feelings of confusion. Jordan, meanwhile, has less to say – he will internalize this – but he says, quietly, “This has been a horrible day.” He alternates between youthful teasing and giggling and struggling with weighty stuff. “Maybe she was on drugs.” When Josh again wonders, “Do you think the firemen could find her?”

    Jordan says in a low voice, “Brother, she’s dead.” Silly moments are interspersed with serious observations and questions.

    We sit with the boys for several hours. It feels like Holy time, a time to create a space for these two boys to express, to wonder, to grieve, to struggle to find words to approach this new reality. When you are three or six, it is almost impossible to use language to make sense of this, to touch despair, hopelessness. That is true for parents and grandparents as well, and we sit together in this space where these hard topics might be approached ever so tentatively. Trust seems an important starting point. In this sense, the boys have been     well prepared. This is not a time for answers, beyond the undergirding assurance of safety, continuity, love.

    That night, the boys sleep well.

    As I pondered and prayed through this experience in the past days, I realized that the paths of the young boys’ struggle to sort out deep spiritual complications in life are closely connected to my own. Truly hard issues are not resolved, in my experience, by someone approaching with a truckload of answers. Rather, it is in the identifying of the questions and in the permission to sit with those questions, to live in that tension, to hold that tension loosely. At some point, the deepest questions will change, probably without clearly defined answers, and hints of growth, understanding, wisdom will be left in palms that are held open.

    It is an honour to be present, to be invited into that struggle, particularly so when it is written on the clean, innocent slates of young children, struggling to understand, struggling to live with integrity."

And It Was Very Good: Everyday Moments of Awe by Ed Olfert was awarded Honorable Mention, Spiritual, in the 2016 Hollywood Book Festival, Hollywood, CA and was awarded Runner-Up, Spiritual, in the 2016 Great Midwest Book Festival, Chicago, IL.

Buy the book from the author. Contact DriverWorks Ink to make that arrangement.

Read a review of the book.

Please contact DriverWorks Ink for permission to reprint any of this article.