A Conversation With My Mother – For World Cancer Day

Yesterday afternoon, I had the urge to phone my mother and talk to her.

Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen physically because my mom died on July 9, 2011, three months after being diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic and liver cancer.

Her death cut me to the core. I thought she’d live for another 10 years, like her mom, who died at age 94.

I didn’t realize how much I would miss my mom until after she died. I suppose that’s normal, but I don't like it. Her death has not stopped me from talking to her, however. I have conversations with her all the time – in my mind, on some higher level than I ever experienced prior to her death. She is a deep part of who I am, so it makes sense that she will always be with me in one way or another.

Today is World Cancer Day.

In honour of all those who are fighting this terrible disease, and those who have lost their fight or lost others to cancer, I am taking a giant step outside my comfort zone and sharing with you my most recent conversation with my mom.

This is what we talked about yesterday:

Hi, Mom. How are you doing?

Great. Really great.

I miss you.

I know you do, but it’s okay. Things are beautiful here and you are doing fine. You’re a good writer and a good person. Live your life and help others. That’s what it’s all about.

Thanks, Mom. What do you want me to do?

Tell them there is life after death. Tell them there is hope. Tell them Dionne’s story – over and over again. She helped me. She helped you cope with my death. Tell them all. Hope is important.

I’m trying, Mom. The journalist in me doesn’t often let the marketing/public relations person take over.

That’s okay. Be you. You are perfect.

Thanks, Mom. You always did know how to keep me grounded. Hey, wait a minute. That ‘you are perfect’ part doesn’t sound like the real you. You’re the one who told Auntie Janet not to read one of the books I published because she wouldn’t like it. While I was standing right there!

(A smile.) Well, it’s true. She wouldn’t have liked it. So there.

Ah, I can see your one eyebrow lifting right now. And your smile. I love that smile. More of a smirk, I guess. Thanks for that, by the way. It keeps people around me smiling a lot. Okay, Mom, I’ve cried enough tears for now. I’ll talk to you later. Have a good day.

I will. I always do.

I love you.

I love you, too. Be strong.

            So now I guess I have to follow my mom’s advice and tell you about Dionne Warner. She’s amazing. She’s battling her eighth cancer diagnosis right now, with grace and courage and tons of humour. She was fighting her fifth, sixth, and seventh cancer diagnoses when I met her in 2010 and began writing a book about her and her husband Graham.

The book’s called Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner’s Story of Hope, and it’s as much a love story as anything. It’s helped a lot of people, including me (we’ve sold more than 6,000 copies so far). It’s about living life to the fullest, every day, whether you’re sick or not.

 In April 2011, I had two chapters left to write of the book when we got the phone call that Mom had inoperable cancer. I worked on my laptop as we drove to Edmonton, Alberta to visit Mom that Easter weekend, and I looked at photos of Dionne and Graham Warner, dressed in costume and dancing into her chemo treatments in Regina, Saskatchewan. I shared those photos with my mom and my siblings and other family members in that hospital room. The photos made us laugh, gave us some information about cancer treatments, and took a lot of the fear out of cancer for us. We had never faced the disease that up-close-and-personal before.

A few weeks later, Mom phoned me from her home and asked, “Did that Dionne girl ever try

anything green?”

It took me a few minutes to figure out what Mom was asking, but I realized she meant alternative, complementary therapies aside from chemotherapy or radiation. “Yes, Mom. Dionne sees a doctor of natural medicine, which is different from a naturopath or a homeopath, and she takes supplements to help her fight the toxicity of her cancer treatments. She’s also been to Mexico twice for complementary therapies.”

A few weeks later, I found out that Mom was trying some homeopathic therapies. One of my aunts said the possibility of alternative treatments gave my mom some hope and put a smile back on her face and a new spring in her step. Mom started to bounce back mentally and be the same strong woman I’d grown up with.

Mom took that therapy until the day before she died. My youngest sister cared for her in that final week and when we arrived for our final visit with Mom, my tired, frail mom insisted on pulling herself out of bed and walking out to the living room to sit in her recliner. We knew it was draining every ounce of strength she had, but she was determined to make this final visit seem as normal as possible. It was heartbreaking and beautifully strong.

That’s my mom ... tough to the end. And that’s the spirit she wants all of us to live with.

Be strong. Fight to the end. Be good to each other. Help others. It’s what my mom did for all of her 84 years. It’s what Dionne Warner does in her ongoing cancer battles.

Cancer Sucks. But we don’t have to take it lying down.

Let’s Fight!

P.S.  You will be seeing a lot more about the inspiring Dionne Warner in the coming weeks. She is the face of the new national Beauty Gives Back campaign of the Look Good ... Feel Better program to help patients cope with cancer. She has been interviewed extensively by media across Canada and more is yet to come. You can read Dionne and Graham’s love story in our Never Leave Your Wingman book. (We’re selling signed copies on our website for $19.95 CAD, plus shipping, within Canada). $1 from every book sold is donated to the Cancer Research Unit at the University of Saskatchewan via the Saskatchewan Cancer Agency.

Here are some links that will tell you more about Dionne and Graham Warner and the Never Leave Your Wingman book:

Never Leave Your Wingman book webpage

CityTV Toronto interview – Beauty Gives Back launch at  Mirror Ball fundraiser

CBC National News - tow truck 'best gift ever'
Global National The Morning Show interview with Dionne Warner on World Cancer Day
CTV Regina Morning Live interview with Dionne Warner about Beauty Gives Back

CTV Edmonton News interview with author Deana Driver talking about the book

Never Leave Your Wingman book Facebook page

Keep Hope Alive!

Eight-Time Cancer Survivor’s Beauty Gives Back

Inspiring eight-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner of Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada is the face of a new campaign of Look Good ... Feel Better Canada called ‘Beauty Gives Back’. And we could not be more pleased or proud to call her our friend.

Dionne’s story is one of overcoming the odds, beating cancers of the breast, then brain, and then two bouts of liver cancer before spending seven years volunteering at the Allan Blair Cancer Clinic in Regina. During that time, she helped hundreds of patients through their treatments by sharing her positive, never-give-up attitude, and encouraging them to continue to fight this disease.

In December 2009, Dionne was diagnosed with Stage IV cancers in her liver, lungs and bones. She began dressing up in costume each week for her chemotherapy treatments and before long, she and her husband – her wingman – Graham, began to both dress in costume and dance into chemo as music played to accompany their themes.

Dionne Warner’s first costume/theme, Dec. 2009

I met Dionne and Graham in June 2010 and knew instantly that both of them were worthy of a book. It would be an inspiring book about this amazing couple and their never-ending, positive attitudes that showed their commitment to doing all they could to beat this disease and bring hope and laughter to others in the process.

  

  

Buy the Book

I promised Dionne and Graham at our first meeting that I would write their story and publish a book about them and their journey by the following June – which I did. The result is Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner’s Story of Hope.

The book has become a national best-seller in Canada, with copies also being purchased by readers in numerous countries around the world. It’s also in an e-book format, available from your favourite e-book retailer. Never Leave Your Wingman won an Honorable Mention in the Biography category of the 2013 Great Midwest Book Festival in Chicago, and continues to sell well and spread the Warners’ story of hope with all who read it. We repeatedly hear stories of how the book has helped cancer patients and their families, and many readers who have no connection to cancer, live happier, healthier lives by focusing on the positive and taking control of their own health.

Dionne has been a fan and supporter of the Look Good ... Feel Better campaign since shortly after she beat her second cancer. Here’s an excerpt from the Never Leave Your Wingman book:

In October 1997, a little more than a month after her second brain cancer surgery, Dionne attended a half-day workshop with the Look Good … Feel Better program, an initiative of the cosmetic, toiletry and fragrance association to help cancer patients feel better about themselves. She was also interviewed and photographed for a story in the Summer 1998 issue of Images Magazine, which was available through the Shoppers Drug Mart stores. In the photos, the beautiful bald-headed Dionne showed how to wear hats and scarves to feel more comfortable as a woman undergoing cancer therapy. Her husband was beside her in one of the photos and the headline read: ‘The Power of love – Dionne faced cancer twice in two years and beat it both times’. 

Dionne spoke about her struggle to feel attractive after her initial hair loss with the breast cancer chemotherapy and how she gave up all attempts to try to improve her appearance. “I felt so unattractive. I thought, ‘Why bother with makeup?’ So, if I had to go out, I’d just put on a hat and that was about it.’ The support and love from her husband, family and friends helped her to overcome her own insecurities as she healed from her surgeries, she said in the article. “Dionne decided to attend a Look Good…Feel Better workshop because she knew she needed something to make herself feel better. And, in October 1997, actually on the day before she was photographed for the Look Good…Feel Better magazine, she went,” said the magazine article.

“At the workshop, I put on one of my hats because my head was cold, and everyone commented on it! It’s a real thrill that I was asked to be the hat model for the magazine, because I’m a hat collector – I have about 30 different types of hats,” she says. “I feel so much better about myself; the workshop really made a difference to me.” 

Dionne had learned about the Look Good … Feel Better program through the cancer clinic. In the article, she encouraged all other cancer patients to attend a workshop, use the products in the gift box provided for participants, and start feeling better about themselves. “Thanks to Look Good … Feel Better, my skin is incredible, I feel great and everyone tells me I look good, too. It’s a wonderful program, and I know that anyone who participates will feel the same way!”

Dionne has supported the program since then and credits it for helping her to maintain a positive attitude while she goes through her cancer treatments.

In November 2014, Dionne was called upon again by her friends in the Look Good ... Feel Better program to share her story in a huge, inspiring way – through their new Beauty Gives Back campaign.

Once you’ve recovered from watching the inspiring video above, we invite you to view the City TV Toronto news clip of the launch of the campaign at the 2014 Mirror Ball charity fundraiser in Toronto, Ontario. 

We’re sure you will agree that Dionne Warner is an amazing, inspiring, walking miracle.