Living with Cancer and Gratitude

It has been more than two months since I last posted on this blog. August 13th to be exact. The reason for that is very simple. And completely overwhelming.

On August 20, my husband/soulmate/publishing partner, Al Driver, was admitted to hospital with a severe abdominal pain that turned out to be Stage IV colon cancer which had spread to a spot on his liver and was in 16 of the 38 lymph nodes the surgeon removed as part of the emergency surgery she performed that night. Al now has an ileostomy, and the last couple months have been spent in and out of the hospital as we figure out the right "recipe" of medications to keep him hydrated and strong so he can fight his cancer with chemotherapy, which starts next week and will continue for four to six months.

Al and I enjoyed a visit on Thanksgiving Sunday with five of our favourite people. Al's mom is beside me. Our three children are from right to left - Dave, Lisa, and Dani - and Dani's husband, Stephen, is on the far left. Our daughter-in-law, Kelli, and other son-in-law, Kyle, are not pictured.

Al is following the inspiring role modeling of our friend, eight-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner, whose story I told in our award-winning, bestselling book Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner's Story of Hope. Dionne is an amazing woman who recently celebrated her 50^th birthday – 20 years after receiving her first cancer diagnosis! When faced with each of her eight cancer diagnoses, Dionne Warner gives herself 24 hours to say “Why me?” and then she turns it around to “Why not me and what am I going to do about it?” Al immediately adopted that attitude and he is ready to fight, going into his first chemotherapy treatment next week. The latest CT scan shows two small spots on his bowel and one on his liver. His oncologist is hopeful, telling us that if chemo doesn’t take care of them, she will ask a surgeon to take the spots out. We share her optimism and we are thankful to family and friends, and many of our authors and readers who have supported us along the way so far.

We cancelled many of our craft and trade show booths this fall to be together at this time. Much of this information has been posted on our DriverWorks Ink Facebook page. That is where I will occasionally post updates as we walk this path, following Dionne Warner’s optimistic, hope-filled outlook. We have a long road ahead and we thank you all for staying with us and supporting us on this journey.

So it's not likely that I will be posting much on this blog for the next while. It has been a challenge for me to keep up with juggling work commitments and the appointments and other details in our changing personal lives.

Still, we have accomplished a fair bit in this past couple of months and I would like to share some of this excitement with you.


We released one new book - And It Was Very Good: Everyday Moments of Awe by Ed Olfert - in October. Ed Olfert has been a farmer, trucker, welder, and Mennonite pastor. He believes that glimpses of God surround us every day in every moment, and he has written about some of these glimpses, which require a new way of looking that leaves space for awe and mystery. Ed’s short stories – his own uplifting version of “Chicken Soup for the Soul” – have been published in the Prince Albert Daily Herald and are about neighbours and friends, and lives that we might not naturally connect to God, to awe and mystery. Ed's stories will make you think, make you wonder, and make you appreciate the people and the places around you.

We also have another new book coming out in November. Running the Riders: My Decade as CEO of Canada's Team is written by Jim Hopson with Darrell Davis. In 2004, Jim Hopson was hopeful that the board of directors of the Saskatchewan Roughriders Football Club in the Canadian Football League would hire him as the team's first full-time president and CEO. He believed that the team, with its incredible fan base, could become a successful business that consistently posted strong annual profits while playing in and winning multiple Grey Cups. And it happened. After a decade under Hopson’s leadership (2005 to 2015), the Roughriders became the CFL's strongest franchise, appearing in four Grey Cup games (winning twice) and selling more team merchandise than the other eight CFL franchises combined. They obliterated their debt and posted a record-setting profit of $10.4 million after winning a hometown Grey Cup in 2013, which has been described as the biggest moment in the 105-year-old team’s history. Hopson’s book, with the assistance of Darrell Davis (an author and long-time sports writer and Roughriders beat writer at the Regina Leader-Post), describes Hopson’s business plans, the resistance to change within the organization, the interplay with the fans of Rider Nation, difficult decisions made, and the euphoria of winning two league championships.
An emotional man with a firm disposition, Jim Hopson describes the highs and lows that went along with the job and the path he took, professionally and personally, to the biggest office with the franchise known as "Canada’s Team."

We participated in a few trade and craft shows in October and I was again pleased by the number of people who purchased our new books, including our new nonfiction book of short stories (Cream Money: Stories of Prairie People, compiled and edited by Deana J. Driver) plus our two new fiction books (Pure Baseball: The Carl Jaxsom Legend by Ryan Thaddeus and Catherine of Cannington Manor by Shirley Harris) and our adult coloring book (The Zenimaginarium Garden: A Coloring Book by Saskatchewan artist Jeanne Burbage). This coloring book - the first one published in Canada by a Canadian artist - is so popular that we've already reprinted it and it is being featured in the online Holiday Gift Guide by Canadian Living magazine this fall!

 

Please continue to enjoy the work of our many Saskatchewan and Prairie authors. I will be working on some new manuscripts of some other authors as time permits. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

I'll return to this blog as time and energy permit.

Take care, everyone.

A Conversation With My Mother – For World Cancer Day

Yesterday afternoon, I had the urge to phone my mother and talk to her.

Unfortunately, that couldn’t happen physically because my mom died on July 9, 2011, three months after being diagnosed with inoperable pancreatic and liver cancer.

Her death cut me to the core. I thought she’d live for another 10 years, like her mom, who died at age 94.

I didn’t realize how much I would miss my mom until after she died. I suppose that’s normal, but I don't like it. Her death has not stopped me from talking to her, however. I have conversations with her all the time – in my mind, on some higher level than I ever experienced prior to her death. She is a deep part of who I am, so it makes sense that she will always be with me in one way or another.

Today is World Cancer Day.

In honour of all those who are fighting this terrible disease, and those who have lost their fight or lost others to cancer, I am taking a giant step outside my comfort zone and sharing with you my most recent conversation with my mom.

This is what we talked about yesterday:

Hi, Mom. How are you doing?

Great. Really great.

I miss you.

I know you do, but it’s okay. Things are beautiful here and you are doing fine. You’re a good writer and a good person. Live your life and help others. That’s what it’s all about.

Thanks, Mom. What do you want me to do?

Tell them there is life after death. Tell them there is hope. Tell them Dionne’s story – over and over again. She helped me. She helped you cope with my death. Tell them all. Hope is important.

I’m trying, Mom. The journalist in me doesn’t often let the marketing/public relations person take over.

That’s okay. Be you. You are perfect.

Thanks, Mom. You always did know how to keep me grounded. Hey, wait a minute. That ‘you are perfect’ part doesn’t sound like the real you. You’re the one who told Auntie Janet not to read one of the books I published because she wouldn’t like it. While I was standing right there!

(A smile.) Well, it’s true. She wouldn’t have liked it. So there.

Ah, I can see your one eyebrow lifting right now. And your smile. I love that smile. More of a smirk, I guess. Thanks for that, by the way. It keeps people around me smiling a lot. Okay, Mom, I’ve cried enough tears for now. I’ll talk to you later. Have a good day.

I will. I always do.

I love you.

I love you, too. Be strong.

            So now I guess I have to follow my mom’s advice and tell you about Dionne Warner. She’s amazing. She’s battling her eighth cancer diagnosis right now, with grace and courage and tons of humour. She was fighting her fifth, sixth, and seventh cancer diagnoses when I met her in 2010 and began writing a book about her and her husband Graham.

The book’s called Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner’s Story of Hope, and it’s as much a love story as anything. It’s helped a lot of people, including me (we’ve sold more than 6,000 copies so far). It’s about living life to the fullest, every day, whether you’re sick or not.

 In April 2011, I had two chapters left to write of the book when we got the phone call that Mom had inoperable cancer. I worked on my laptop as we drove to Edmonton, Alberta to visit Mom that Easter weekend, and I looked at photos of Dionne and Graham Warner, dressed in costume and dancing into her chemo treatments in Regina, Saskatchewan. I shared those photos with my mom and my siblings and other family members in that hospital room. The photos made us laugh, gave us some information about cancer treatments, and took a lot of the fear out of cancer for us. We had never faced the disease that up-close-and-personal before.

A few weeks later, Mom phoned me from her home and asked, “Did that Dionne girl ever try

anything green?”

It took me a few minutes to figure out what Mom was asking, but I realized she meant alternative, complementary therapies aside from chemotherapy or radiation. “Yes, Mom. Dionne sees a doctor of natural medicine, which is different from a naturopath or a homeopath, and she takes supplements to help her fight the toxicity of her cancer treatments. She’s also been to Mexico twice for complementary therapies.”

A few weeks later, I found out that Mom was trying some homeopathic therapies. One of my aunts said the possibility of alternative treatments gave my mom some hope and put a smile back on her face and a new spring in her step. Mom started to bounce back mentally and be the same strong woman I’d grown up with.

Mom took that therapy until the day before she died. My youngest sister cared for her in that final week and when we arrived for our final visit with Mom, my tired, frail mom insisted on pulling herself out of bed and walking out to the living room to sit in her recliner. We knew it was draining every ounce of strength she had, but she was determined to make this final visit seem as normal as possible. It was heartbreaking and beautifully strong.

That’s my mom ... tough to the end. And that’s the spirit she wants all of us to live with.

Be strong. Fight to the end. Be good to each other. Help others. It’s what my mom did for all of her 84 years. It’s what Dionne Warner does in her ongoing cancer battles.

Cancer Sucks. But we don’t have to take it lying down.

Let’s Fight!

P.S.  You will be seeing a lot more about the inspiring Dionne Warner in the coming weeks. She is the face of the new national Beauty Gives Back campaign of the Look Good ... Feel Better program to help patients cope with cancer. She has been interviewed extensively by media across Canada and more is yet to come. You can read Dionne and Graham’s love story in our Never Leave Your Wingman book. (We’re selling signed copies on our website for $19.95 CAD, plus shipping, within Canada). $1 from every book sold is donated to the Cancer Research Unit at the University of Saskatchewan via the Saskatchewan Cancer Agency.

Here are some links that will tell you more about Dionne and Graham Warner and the Never Leave Your Wingman book:

Never Leave Your Wingman book webpage

CityTV Toronto interview – Beauty Gives Back launch at  Mirror Ball fundraiser

CBC National News - tow truck 'best gift ever'
Global National The Morning Show interview with Dionne Warner on World Cancer Day
CTV Regina Morning Live interview with Dionne Warner about Beauty Gives Back

CTV Edmonton News interview with author Deana Driver talking about the book

Never Leave Your Wingman book Facebook page

Keep Hope Alive!

Eight-Time Cancer Survivor’s Beauty Gives Back

Inspiring eight-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner of Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada is the face of a new campaign of Look Good ... Feel Better Canada called ‘Beauty Gives Back’. And we could not be more pleased or proud to call her our friend.

Dionne’s story is one of overcoming the odds, beating cancers of the breast, then brain, and then two bouts of liver cancer before spending seven years volunteering at the Allan Blair Cancer Clinic in Regina. During that time, she helped hundreds of patients through their treatments by sharing her positive, never-give-up attitude, and encouraging them to continue to fight this disease.

In December 2009, Dionne was diagnosed with Stage IV cancers in her liver, lungs and bones. She began dressing up in costume each week for her chemotherapy treatments and before long, she and her husband – her wingman – Graham, began to both dress in costume and dance into chemo as music played to accompany their themes.

Dionne Warner’s first costume/theme, Dec. 2009

I met Dionne and Graham in June 2010 and knew instantly that both of them were worthy of a book. It would be an inspiring book about this amazing couple and their never-ending, positive attitudes that showed their commitment to doing all they could to beat this disease and bring hope and laughter to others in the process.

  

  

Buy the Book

I promised Dionne and Graham at our first meeting that I would write their story and publish a book about them and their journey by the following June – which I did. The result is Never Leave Your Wingman: Dionne and Graham Warner’s Story of Hope.

The book has become a national best-seller in Canada, with copies also being purchased by readers in numerous countries around the world. It’s also in an e-book format, available from your favourite e-book retailer. Never Leave Your Wingman won an Honorable Mention in the Biography category of the 2013 Great Midwest Book Festival in Chicago, and continues to sell well and spread the Warners’ story of hope with all who read it. We repeatedly hear stories of how the book has helped cancer patients and their families, and many readers who have no connection to cancer, live happier, healthier lives by focusing on the positive and taking control of their own health.

Dionne has been a fan and supporter of the Look Good ... Feel Better campaign since shortly after she beat her second cancer. Here’s an excerpt from the Never Leave Your Wingman book:

In October 1997, a little more than a month after her second brain cancer surgery, Dionne attended a half-day workshop with the Look Good … Feel Better program, an initiative of the cosmetic, toiletry and fragrance association to help cancer patients feel better about themselves. She was also interviewed and photographed for a story in the Summer 1998 issue of Images Magazine, which was available through the Shoppers Drug Mart stores. In the photos, the beautiful bald-headed Dionne showed how to wear hats and scarves to feel more comfortable as a woman undergoing cancer therapy. Her husband was beside her in one of the photos and the headline read: ‘The Power of love – Dionne faced cancer twice in two years and beat it both times’. 

Dionne spoke about her struggle to feel attractive after her initial hair loss with the breast cancer chemotherapy and how she gave up all attempts to try to improve her appearance. “I felt so unattractive. I thought, ‘Why bother with makeup?’ So, if I had to go out, I’d just put on a hat and that was about it.’ The support and love from her husband, family and friends helped her to overcome her own insecurities as she healed from her surgeries, she said in the article. “Dionne decided to attend a Look Good…Feel Better workshop because she knew she needed something to make herself feel better. And, in October 1997, actually on the day before she was photographed for the Look Good…Feel Better magazine, she went,” said the magazine article.

“At the workshop, I put on one of my hats because my head was cold, and everyone commented on it! It’s a real thrill that I was asked to be the hat model for the magazine, because I’m a hat collector – I have about 30 different types of hats,” she says. “I feel so much better about myself; the workshop really made a difference to me.” 

Dionne had learned about the Look Good … Feel Better program through the cancer clinic. In the article, she encouraged all other cancer patients to attend a workshop, use the products in the gift box provided for participants, and start feeling better about themselves. “Thanks to Look Good … Feel Better, my skin is incredible, I feel great and everyone tells me I look good, too. It’s a wonderful program, and I know that anyone who participates will feel the same way!”

Dionne has supported the program since then and credits it for helping her to maintain a positive attitude while she goes through her cancer treatments.

In November 2014, Dionne was called upon again by her friends in the Look Good ... Feel Better program to share her story in a huge, inspiring way – through their new Beauty Gives Back campaign.

Once you’ve recovered from watching the inspiring video above, we invite you to view the City TV Toronto news clip of the launch of the campaign at the 2014 Mirror Ball charity fundraiser in Toronto, Ontario. 

We’re sure you will agree that Dionne Warner is an amazing, inspiring, walking miracle.

The Best Introduction I've Ever Received

Having spent most of my adult life as a freelance journalist who has listened to numerous speeches of others, I have had to adjust my mindset considerably since I became an author in 2001 and began giving speeches about my books. I usually talk about my background a bit, then get into my writing history and focus on one or two books, depending on the audience and their initial request of me.

Instead of asking the questions, I am now attempting to answer them - during and after my presentations. Instead of listening to others being introduced, I am hearing how others introduce me.

Usually, they take information from the About Us page of our website and add a couple of lines.

That is not what happened in Swift Current, Saskatchewan on September 17, 2014.

Several months ago, I was contacted by Betty McDougall, chairperson of the Write Out Loud Committee in Swift Current, to see if I would be willing to speak at their Write Out Loud event, which is part of the regular programming for the Southwest Cultural Development Group (Lyric Theatre). They wanted me to talk about writing the Never Leave Your Wingman book, my work as an author and perhaps even a bit of information about my work as a publisher.

I agreed and confirmed that Al, my husband and DriverWorks Ink publishing partner, could come as well to sell our books to anyone who was interested in purchasing them. And so it was settled.

On September 17, Al and I arrived in Swift Current and met Betty McDougall and another committee member, Terry Toews, for supper before the event. We had a great visit and, as most Prairie people do, we quickly became comfortable with each other and were laughing and telling stories in no time.

After supper, we drove to the historic Lyric Theatre building in downtown Swift Current, and took a few photos of the poster announcing my speech/reading.


One of the committee members kindly made some adjustments to the book's cover ...

... to get all the information in for the evening event.

We also took a couple photos of me with the sign outside the theatre, which hosts local artists, including a husband/wife musician team who performed before my reading. They were the opening act, if you will.

While Al and I were setting up our table of books inside, people were flocking over to look at our numerous titles and purchasing numerous books before Al could even get them all out of the boxes. We were thrilled! (Thank you, Swift Current! You are the best!)

After the opening act, it was time for Terry Toews to introduce me. 

This is what she said:

INTRODUCTION

It is my pleasure this evening to introduce the first author for our brand new Write Out Loud season. 

Deana Driver is an author, editor, book publisher and freelance journalist based in Regina.  She is the author of five non-fiction books and the founding partner of DriverWorks Ink publishing, which specializes in non-fiction stories, and helps authors self-publish their work.  It is of special interest to us that DriverWorks recently published Bryce Burnett’s first book of cowboy poetry, Homegrown and Other Poems.

Since 1983, she has published more than 2,000 articles (while raising three kids - so she's kind of an underachiever), in addition to her non-fiction books.  Her latest release is also her first children’s book.  The Sailor and the Christmas Trees is the true story of a Manitoba sailor who cut down trees in Newfoundland, hid them on his ship, and surprised his shipmates and some small English children while at sea during the Second World War.

Ms. Driver has a passion for sharing the stories of fascinating Prairie people and unsung Canadian heroes.  She enjoys speaking to audiences of all ages, and uses her own experiences and those of people she has interviewed to show the importance of reading and writing as the path to learning and a better future.

When I read Never Leave Your Wingman, I was impressed by the degree to which Deana Driver is willing to take a back seat to the story she is telling.  Throughout the book, I was thinking about introducing Deana and what I would say about her, and then I would realize that I was accidentally introducing Dionne Warner in my imagination, so successfully has Deana written herself out of the book!  It takes real skill and a willing sublimation of ego to be able to do that. 

The fact that the book is definitely Dionne’s story says a lot about Deana Driver.  It tells me that she is dedicated to giving these unsung heroes their own voice, without imposing her voice or value judgments.  It tells me that she is secure enough to be willing to disappear into a story in order to be able to tell it with authenticity, and it tells me that she is, herself, something of an unsung hero.

It is no small thing to want to tell the stories of prairie folks and amazing people who otherwise escape the notice of the world.  And it is no small thing to want to help other writers move forward with their work.  When I came to the end of Never Leave Your Wingman, I concluded that it was no accident that Ms. Driver wanted to write about Dionne Warner.  In many ways, they are cut from the same cloth, in their willingness to help others and their responsiveness to reactions and emotions that sometimes go unnoticed by others.

We are very fortunate to have Deana Driver with us tonight.  Please join me in welcoming her to the Write Out Loud stage.

Wow. That was very high praise ... and I was a little taken aback. 

Last fall, during our large tour of schools and libraries in which I made 62 presentations in 27 communities across the Prairie provinces, a high school teacher in Prince Albert introduced me as 'a humanitarian' - and I was thrilled and honoured with that reference. 

In Swift Current, with Terry's introduction, I had never heard so many kind words about my work, my writing, or my person from someone who had never met me before.

Her introduction made me a little emotional ... which led to a rather emotional speech about a very emotional topic - the amazing eight-time cancer survivor Dionne Warner and fighting cancer with laughter, courage, and above all, hope.

I calmed down after a few minutes and by the end of my ad-libbed speech, the audience had heard a bit about my own story, plus some excerpts from the book, some background to those excerpts, and more. One woman kindly told us later that she "could have listened to that all night. Dionne's story is great, but to hear how Deana went from freelance writing to publishing was really good. And when she started talking about the different books, I could have listened to that about each one of them.

Some of these authors just come and read from their book. This was really entertaining - but more than that, it was educational, too."

So to all you authors out there, please add those extra touches to your readings. Tell the audience something they won't read in the book. Who are you and why do you write? Where did the story idea come from for this book? What is your favourite part of the book? Was one part more difficult to write than another? 

It's all about engaging the reader, at every level.

Swift Current's Write Out Loud was an amazing experience and Al and I are so grateful to have been invited, welcomed, and appreciated by these wonderful Prairie people. 

Thank you, Betty, for inviting me to speak at Write Out Loud and thank you, Terry, for that remarkable introduction. It's the best!

(L to r) Betty McDougall, Deana Driver, Terry Toews - Sept. 17, 2014.